More

Many of my Facebook friends are writing what they are thankful for each day this month.  It is a beautiful thing.  I participated last year but decided not to this year (really only because I am so overwhelmed right now that I'm sure I'd miss days and then feel ungrateful and I don't want to feel like I've failed at yet another thing).

This blog post is my substitute, I guess.  In January I decided my theme for the year would be "gratitude" and I've spent the past 11 months working on recording all of the "gifts" I've received.  For inspiration, read Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts.  It's a moving book.

There is so much I thank the Lord for this year.  The first is my mother.  In the past month, I watched a friend from college walk through the pain of losing her mom.  Another is watching hers slip away to glory...too soon.  I am so grateful that I have my mom, HERE.  I don't call or even text her every day but I could.  And sometimes a girl just needs her mom.

I am thankful to be sharing this senior year with students I've spent every day with for four years.  It is a joy to look back at how far they've come and celebrate where they will be next year.

I am grateful for the man who's come into my life this year and loved me so well.

There's so much more.

Can I just say that I am thankful for the word "more"?

Let me explain.

As I was walking Finn a few weeks ago I had a beautiful moment of revelation.  I admired the autumn leaves -- the blaze of color covering the mountains around our small town -- and stood in awe of the beauty and majesty of creation.

The words of Scripture came to my mind..

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge..."

I thought of the flowers and each beautiful, tender bloom.  I thought of the sparrow and how He knows every time it takes off and every time it lands.  He cares so deeply...

How much more?

It's become my second favorite phrase in all of Scripture (the first is "But God", which will need it's own post).  His death and resurrection is enough.  His forgiveness would have been enough.  Just take away the punishment Lord and let me barely into your kingdom.  It's already too much mercy.

But no.  He gives more.  so. much. more.

"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the wild flowers grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you...!

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."

And I looked again at the beautiful trees, alive with my favorite colors - red, yellow, orange, maroon (sorry, had to).  I suddenly realized that this beauty, this season I long for each year, is a sign of death.  That tree is shedding its leaves to "die" for a time.  He gives them dignity.  Their "death" brings Him glory.  Beauty in suffering.

How much more?

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him."

So much more.  More than I deserve.

Need more proof?  Read all of Romans 5.  Here's a peak: "For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!"

More.

Do you think it's fair to say that this is the anthem of heaven? He is King. He is Life. He gives More.

And I will praise Him.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"

Celebrating Fall

I'm taking a break today from serious posts to bring  you some Halloween cheer.

First, a recipe!  I made these pumpkin scones on Sunday and have been snacking on them all week (not the most healthy, but you could do a lot worse in the baked goods category).

They are a perfect accompaniment to hot cider, coffee or milk.

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

1/3 cup sugar

1 Tablespoon baking powder

1 Tablespoon cinnamon

1 stick cold butter, cubed

2/3 cup pumpkin

1/4 cup half-and-half, plus a little more

Optional add-ins: 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, craisins, chocolate chips, cinnamon chips....whatever you want.

Stir together flour, sugar, baking powder and cinnamon in a medium sized bowl.  Cut in butter with a pastry blender.  In a small bowl, combine pumpkin and half-and-half.  Stir pumpkin mixture into dry ingredients until combined.  You may need to add a little more half-and-half at this point so it isn't too dry.  Then add any extras.  This time, I used 1/2 cup chopped walnuts and 1/2 cup cinnamon chips and loved it.

Pat into an 8 inch square on a floured surface, then cut into 16 triangles.  Transfer to a baking sheet and bake at 400 for 20 minutes. 

I plan to make these again this week with walnuts and craisins.  Also going to try it with granulated splenda instead of sugar...hopefully that doesn't ruin it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I will be dressed as WonderWoman, hoping that at least a few trick-or-treaters stop by.  I have only had 2 in the past three years.  

Last night we had our Young Life Capernaum  Halloween party.  It was an absolute blast!  Here is a glimpse of the games we played. 

The Price

"I'm going to pay you back," she whispers, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

She looks so young. So afraid. So broken. And yet, so determined.

She clenches her fists and swings her legs nervously.  And we continue to sit in the corner of the waiting room.

We're an unlikely pair, K and I.  As I watch her, I think back on the two and half years of history that have led us to this doctor's office in Fishersville, and everywhere I see fingerprints of Grace.

Clearly HE knew this day would come. Maybe she is the reason He brought me here. And while this story is still very much unfinished, I believe that this moment is the answer to the question I have asked night after lonely night: Why, Lord? Why did you bring me here?

K has been one of my students from the beginning.  Her ninth grade year was marked by fights (including one that will forever be a school legend) and girl drama.  As a brand new counselor, I probably didn't handle most of my interactions with her as well as I should.  To be honest, I don't remember any conversation we had that year.  I just have an impression that she was a challenge and I wasn't ready.

I guess her sophomore year was a little better.  I say that because I don't remember any incidents, not because it was actually a good year for her. I just know she failed a couple classes and then stopped by one day during summer school and said she wanted to graduate early.

One year ago we did not have a relationship.  I'm not sure I even liked her. I remember praying one day and asking for help in connecting with her and loving her.

The prayer worked.

K and I began to see a little more of each other once this past school year started.   One day during her lunch period she stopped in my office and asked if she could leave her backpack in my office while she ran an errand. I was a little confused but I agreed.  She came back at the end of the period and I asked where she went. "I was visiting my mom in jail."

Oh.

It became a weekly routine.  She stopped by, dropped off her backpack, and headed up to the jail, which, for those of you not familiar with Rockbridge County, is literally across the street from the high school.  When she returned from her visits, I made a point to be available and always asked how her mom was doing and how she was.  This continued for several months, until her mother was released.

Fast forward to early December.  I looked up from my paperwork and there she was. Eyes red from weeping. I asked what was wrong and the tears started again.  After a while came the words, "I'm pregnant."

And then, there we were, twenty weeks later -- after a long, difficult process of obtaining insurance and a health care provider that was much, much harder than it should have been -- in the waiting room, about to see a miracle.  When we walked it I thought we'd made it through the hard part; it'd be smooth sailing from here.  I knew she had no money and was too proud to ask her estranged parents for help so I was prepared to cover what I assumed would be a $25/30 copay.  I only half listened to the office manager but suddenly came to upon hearing, "It will be $180 for today."  

Ouch.

I'm certainly not poor by any means, but an unplanned $180 expense hurts.  K looked at me and turned to the door, "Well I guess we're not seeing the doctor today."  In a split second, I pulled out my credit card and handed it to the woman.  I grabbed K's arm, "We're not going anywhere."

I finished paying in silence and we made our way to the corner of the waiting room.  She began to cry.  I wanted to join her.  This is so much more than I bargained for, I thought to myself.  Please, Lord, help me love her in this moment.  

"You shouldn't have done that, Ms. Mock.  It's not fair.  That is way too much money to spend on me.  I'm not worth that much.  I'm going to pay you back."

Oh, sweet girl.  You can't.  

The words tumbled out. "You're right, K.  It's not fair, but not for the reason you think.  It's not fair that you're here right now without your mom or your dad.  It's not fair that you even know that this appointment costs $180 and that you're the one paying for it.  It's not fair that the only person in your life willing to drive you to this appointment is your school counselor.  It's not fair that you don't have anyone to fight for you.  It's not fair that you don't know that you are worth it - that I would pay even if it was $500.  You are worth it."

The tears fell freely now.  I wrapped my arms around her and my tears mixed with her own.

You are worth it.

"I'm going to pay you back," she said again.  "I'll give you a dollar a week if I have to."

That would take you almost four years....I thought.  Even as I thought it, I knew I would never see that money again, and that it was okay.  Redemption comes at a price.

How many times in my Christian walk have I said to God, "I'm going to pay you back" when in truth the price of my salvation is infinitely greater than I could ever repay?  How many times do I think I can somehow earn points by doing good deeds or making some sacrifice when in reality it would never, ever work?

"What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.  I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people." (Psalm 116:12-14)

How shall I repay him?  I will praise Him. I will exalt His name and tell others what He has done for me.  And I will call on Him again and again so that He goodness is again revealed.  As John Piper writes "The psalmist's answer to his own question, 'What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits?' is, in essence, that will go on receiving from the Lord so that the Lord's inexhaustible goodness will be magnified."

Why do I tell you this story?  Because on April 8, 2013, I understood the cost of my freedom in a way I never had before. I realized how greatly it cost the Father, but also how "worth it" it was to Him.  And I learned that the best response is to humbly receive and give thanks.

Months have passed since that landmark day...the day I saw grace in a whole new way and K saw her precious baby girl for the first time.

K graduated in May and I continued to take her to her OB appointments.  Then, on August 12, I got to be there for this.

Aniya Hope.

Precious girl, you and your mommy are worth any price.

How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?

Things so undeserved, yet You gave to prove Your love for me;

The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude

All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee

To God be the glory, to God be the glory

To God be the glory for the things He hath done

With His blood, He has saved me

With His power, He has raised me

To God be the glory for the things He hath done

Just let me live my life, let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee

And if I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary...

On Katy, Kari, Miley and Why I Don't Like Going to Church (but go anyway)

This blog post begins with a simple Instagram picture that Kari Jobe posted several weeks ago.  It was a picture of her current favorite song playing on her iPod.  The song? Katy Perry's new single, "Roar."

If you haven't heard the song, I encourage you to listen to it...and buy it and make it your ringtone and play it every morning and before any difficult phone call and on repeat in your car and....well....you get it.  The song is awesome, from a catchy tune to uplifting lyrics and incredible sound production.  In fact, it's so good I will probably end up hating it because I've heard it too much.

Anyway, Kari (one of the most popular artists in Christian/worship music) posted a picture of this song and basically said it was her new theme song and she loved it.  Like all of her Instagram posts, she got thousands of "likes".

She also got thousands of comments.  Angry comments in all caps.  Comments from Christians who said they were disappointed in who she'd become.  Christians who told her Katy Perry is a messenger of Satan and the lyrics were blasphemous.  That anyone who liked this song clearly is not a believer.  Others said they would pray for her since she had so easily be captured by the world.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

I got angry then sad then angry then sad.  Now, several weeks later, I'm mostly just heartbroken with a little bit of anger that I don't know what to do with.

Does anyone else remember this girl?

This is Katy Hudson...a talented young CCM artist from the early 2000s.  She entered the Christian music scene during the days of Joy Williams, Nikki Leonti and Stacie Orrico...when Christian music producers were trying to find an anti-Britney and Christina.

Katy was a little different from the rest.  The daughter of two pastors, she tried her hand at songwriting and her songs were actually pretty good for a 17 year old.  But the critics were harsh.  Google her name even now and you will find articles calling her a little "too wild" to be a role model for Christian girls.  They say she's immature and unpredictable (I spend every day with 17 year old girls...it's the norm, folks).  She didn't last very long as a Christian artist.

But don't feel sorry for Katy (at least, not for that...I'll come back to this later).  If the picture looks familiar it's because Katy Hudson is now Katy Perry and she's the one who wrote the Satan-worshipping "Roar" that Kari Jobe and I like so much.

What happened? How did she go from singing, "He'll prevail in the midst of my trials and tribulations/He'll prevail in the midst of all my sin and temptations/He'll prevail when I fall and He will pick me up/For time and time again my faith won't fail" to "Last Friday night we went streaking in the park/Skinny dipping in the dark/Then had a menage a trois"?

Many journalists have asked but Katy's answers have been mysterious, to say the least.  Maybe I'm projecting too many of my own feelings, but I think part of the reason she doesn't want to talk about it is that whatever happened was extremely painful.  And from personal experience I can tell you that there is no pain so great as the pain caused by the one entity that should only ever be an agent of healing.  I'm talking about the Church.

As a child of two ministers, I'm sure Katy was familiar with the critical spirit of the Church long before she released her Christian album.  Her parents probably tried to protect her from it...mine did, too...but no amount of "sheltering" can keep you from hearing about the member who is spreading lies about other women in the church...the one inciting hostility against another...the people who don't want the single mom working in the nursery because somehow that will suggest we condone premarital sex or divorce or whatever.  I could go on....the ones who don't like one song and take it personally if it ends up in the order of worship...the ones who tell a young woman they're not sure she's fit for ministry...the ones who ask for prayer for other people at Bible study not because they actually hope for their friends' healing and restoration but because they want to make sure everyone knows that person is a BAD SINNER...worse than the rest of us.

And...of course...the great many ones who stood up and walked out of a church in anger one Sunday morning in 1998....

There are some wounds that take a very, very long time to heal.

Let's just say I totally understand why Katy walked out and, to my knowledge, hasn't looked back.

It's too hard.  It's not fair.  It hurts way too much.

And sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.

So.....back to Kari Jobe.  I think this situation has blown over.  She never commented on it and I admire her for that.  She's a better person than I.

But this is the reason why this whole thing worries me: the Church could ruin her.  Now, I have no doubt that Kari has a strong, ever-growing relationship with her Savior and it in no way depends on what others say about her.  I bet she's still rocking out to "Roar" whenever she wants.  That doesn't mean, however, that this wasn't a painful experience.  She devotes her life to the cause of Christ and this is the reward? It shouldn't be this hard.  Look, I know there will always be the "crazies" but there are a lot more "crazies" than most of us are willing to admit.  There may come a day when she decides this ministry isn't worth it.  It isn't worth the pain.  It isn't worth the abuse.  It isn't worth the personal defamation.  Maybe one day she'll just stop writing songs that lead millions to the throne of grace because she's gotten one too many "you're going to hell" comments.  That, my friends, would be a real tragedy.

This just has to stop.

[I have to pause here and add an aside that wasn't originally to be part of this post.  Unfortunately, as I procrastinated on actually writing down the thoughts in my head, another event occurred that fits right in: Miley Cyrus on the VMAs.  I have to tell you -- I wasn't watching so I only saw the news coverage and the responses from Facebook friends and popular Christian bloggers.  Frankly, I'm more outraged by the Christian response than the event itself.  First of all, Miley doesn't claim to be a Christian.  She sings about drug use.  WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU PEOPLE SHOCKED BY HER BEHAVIOR?!?! Second, the VMAs are aired on MTV.  Stop and think about that for a second.  A lot of my friends talked about how they were watching with young children and that's why they were offended. It was on MTV.  It was ON MTV.   What did you expect?  If you're trying to stay pure/keep your kids pure....I'm just trying to understand why you were watching it in the first place...Jesus had a lot to say about reactions like this...whitewashed tombs, perhaps?  I find it heartbreaking that the most "Christian" response to the whole thing came from Richard Simmons, who, with tears in his eyes, said he hurt for her, as she clearly was crying out to be seen...to be loved...to be enough.  Where was the Church to say, "Oh Miley, you are loved -- more loved than you will ever know by someone who died to know you.  Someone who loved you at your very darkest moment.  We see you.  He loves you."  Where is the Church for countless young women crying out with the same questions??]

We've got to do better than this.

I hope this post is not a divisive one. I am not trying to call anyone out in particular.  I write as one who has been hurt, but also as one who hopes for healing.  My own path has been a difficult one -- I never stopped going to church but there were years that I refused to get fully involved.  It's too dangerous.  I don't want it to stay that way.  I want to love going to church the way others do....I want to love all the people in my church the way my sister does...but I am so scared of being hurt again.  

But I keep going, even though some weeks I would rather have a root canal.  And I keep serving, because I trust the One who calls me.  And I keep writing and calling attention to events such as these because I believe we can't ignore that this is happening.  And I pray for revival.  I pray for hearts to be broken over the wounds we have inflicted on the people we've been called to heal...over the chains we've put on the ones we've been called to set free.  And I will love the Church because Jesus makes it clear that if I love Him I must love His bride as well.  

So tomorrow, I will get in my car and drive to church.  I will probably get a stomachache during that ten minute drive and then heart palpitations as I walk in and I will be a little shaky by the time I sit down.  I will be a little uneasy in the place I should feel the most safe.  But I will be there, praying that He will soon redeem it all.

A Legacy

Official documents from Norway, 1857:

"Abraham Tobiassen withdrew from the State Church in 1857 to Christ's communion in Spirit, to worship not with the use of images and symbols but in Spirit and Truth."

This is my great great great grandfather. 

Thank you, Lord, for such an example in my own family.

In Order to Claim What is Mine...

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/8969537/?claim=88kkwsbeajy">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>


A real post will follow, I swear.

Quick Update on the Money Thing

Hmmmmm.....I wonder what this post will be about?

In the interest of holding myself accountable to someone, I would like to report on my current savings.

As of tonight, the seventh week of the year, I have deposited a grand total of $993 into my savings account.

I get paid Friday and then there will be more.

Will update the total again at the end of the month.  Woohoo!!!!

I'm also working on another post about Hagar and the amazing things that I've learned lately, but it's taking me a little while....

Lately

I was blessed to be able to watch the live stream of Beth Moore's sermon at Passion 2013.  I've been pondering her message ever since.  Without getting into the details (mostly because I think I need to study it a little more for myself since the first commentary I read after hearing this talk contradicted most of the details she gave), I wanted to share the biggest takeaway for me personally, given that my word for the year is Gratitude.

After the last supper, Jesus and his disciples went away singing a hymn....and Beth says that the hymn is found in Psalm 118, verses that are familiar to me as they are inscribed in my parents' wedding bands.

The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone;
the Lord has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
The Lord has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.

This was THE DAY of our SALVATION!

The rest of the psalm talks about....you guessed....gratitude and thanksgiving.  "I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me...I will not die but live, and proclaim what the Lord has done...I will give you thanks, for you answered me, you have become my salvation."

The gospel.  I've heard it my whole life.  It means good news.  Beth used a different word to describe it that day.  The news is good.  But it should make us GLAD.  This good news -- our glad tidings.

We have not outsinned his ability to forgive....and I am GLAD about that.

The evil one will not have the last say....and I am GLAD about that.

God will come back and claim His people...and I am GLAD about that.

He has done great things for me...and I AM GLAD!

Cue the Doxology, people. Amen, and amen.

52 Week Money Challenge

For those of you checking in to see something deep and meaningful, you won't find it here today.  But, it may be helpful anyway.

One of my goals for 2013 is to save $10,000.  I'm not exactly bringing home big bucks these days and I'm not interested in cutting back my lifestyle too much, so it's going to be a bit of a challenge.

First, my spending habits.  I don't have a rigid budget.  I guess you could say I do the envelope system.....in my head.  I don't make huge purchases.  I don't like to get even close to overdrawing, so I spend if I know I have the money, and if I want to make a purchase that would push me below this magical "suddenly I might be scared if I had an emergency" threshold, I either wait till payday or don't buy it.  That being said, I still fritter money away...not so bad but I know there should be more left over every month than I actually have.

The Game Plan: I'm debt free (!!!!!!!!) as of December, so my student loan payment, which used to go to my parents, will now go straight to the savings account.  Amount to be saved: $6000.  $4000 to go.

Step One: Cut Back
I read several articles about how to cut back and they weren't super helpful for me, but maybe they are for others.  I already don't have cable (I do have the streaming-only version of Netflix and I'm not willing to give that up).  They tell you to give up drinking....well maybe that makes a difference for some people. I was going through maybe two bottles of cheap wine a month, but ok, I'll cut back to one.  So that's $120 extra saved over the course of the year.  They tell you to give up magazine subscriptions since you read it once and never learn anything so important that you need to keep them.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), all of my magazine subscriptions are gifts from others.  Savings: Zero.  They tell you to stop going to movies -- I haven't been to a movie in the theater in a year.  Not that I don't enjoy it but I just don't think to do it.  Then they suggest you cut out name brands...yeah, been doing that one, too.  You get the idea.  Apparently I am doing extremely well in my spending when compared to the average American.

Step Two: Control the Incidentals
Is there a 12 step program for people who get a stomachache from purchasing $75 items who at the same time will spend $75 on 15 things without blinking an eye?  Because I might need it.

I don't really have an "entertainment" budget since I rarely do anything.  I know the money is there and I don't spend it on expensive things.  The problem is that, like my father, $5 rounds to zero in my mental check register and it doesn't in real life.  I will spend $2 for a Sheetz Latte on the way to church, $10 on Kindle books or $1.29 on an iTunes download without thinking.  In my mind I haven't spent the money.  It was shocking to me when I totaled up my "freebies" of the last three months.  Oops!  Solution: iTunes and Kindle need there own budget categories and I can't go over. I'll save the difference, though I'm still not sure what that will be.

Step Three: Save the "Bonus"
Part of my job at the high school is serving as the SAT and ACT test coordinator.  While it really stinks to give up a Saturday morning once a month, the pay is pretty good.  I've never really counted it in my budget and I should have, since last year it kicked my butt at tax time (I did take that into account this year).  Still, when I budget expenses, that money is not included in my start value.........so.........it should still be there.  But it's not.  Stupid Sheetz and it's toasted marshmallow Latte's.  You took  my SAT money.  While I can't be sure of the exact amount I will earn from those tests in advance (my pay is based on the number of tests taken at my site), I do know that I will be able to save AT LEAST $2046 if I get the minimum payment each time.

Step Four: The 52 Week Money Challenge
I saw this on Pinterest and decided to go for it.  Basically, the graphic said to save the dollar amount of what week of the year it is ($1 the first week, $27 the 27th week and so on).  Instead of counting up with the savings, I am counting down.  Last Friday I moved $52 over to my savings account and this Friday it will be $51.  I did this for two reasons.  First, I am motivated right now so $52 was not painful.  I am pumped!  I doubt I will be as excited in November, but this way I'll only have to give up $7 when momentum is waning.  Along that same vein, I always spend more money at the end of the year (Christmas gifts...Christmas COOKIES) and I know I wouldn't follow through.  How much will I save this way?  $1378.

This brings us to a current savings anticipated total of................$9452!!!!!

Only $548 to go.  I actually feel a lot better about this now that I've written it down.

I know I haven't shown you my "real" budget, but if you have any suggestions about where I can "find" the rest, please leave a comment.

Happy Saving!

First Gift

So last night when I took Finn out for his last walk before bed, I looked up at the stars and sang this song.

And ask I got to the end of the second verse...I saw it.  A shooting star!

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find.

BAM! Shooting star.

Maybe I should retitle my journal "Ten Thousand Gifts".  One thousand might not begin to cover it.

New Year, New Post

This blog has been an epic failure lately.  I often find myself creating posts in my head but then fail to ever sit down and type them.  2012 was a hectic year.

I took some time this morning to journal and think about my goals for 2013.  While I won't write them down here (there are 6), I will say that blogging fairly regularly is one of them.  To my 3 readers, you are welcome.

The past couple years I have also picked a one word theme.  This year's theme?  Gratitude.

This year I will focus on God's gifts.  Inspired by Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, I will begin keeping my own list of all I've been given.  I will post some here.

For now, I want to highlight all the "gifts" mentioned in the first seven verses of Isaiah 43.

He created me.
He formed me.
He redeemed me.
He has called me by name.
I am His.
He is with me.  He will be with me.
He will not let me be consumed.
He is my Lord and my God.
The Holy One - my SAVIOR.
I am precious in His eyes.
He LOVES me.
There is nothing He wouldn't give to deliver me.
He is with me -- I have nothing to fear.
He has fought for me, is fighting for me, will fight for me all the days of my life.

Gratitude.  I think we're off to a good start.