Rejoice

[Note to the readers I'm not sure actually exist: if you were hoping that my posts relating to Crazy Love would somehow make it so you didn't have to read it for yourselves, you are going to be disappointed. This post is my response to bits and pieces of chapters 2-4.]

I get stressed out rather easily.

I try to prevent the stress from happening by planning everything way in advance and putting even the tiniest details on my "to do" list. I do this because that way I am less likely to forget and because it makes me very happy when I can cross something off in Sharpie.

*I am currently going through a Sharpie phase. I LOVE THEM, especially the Sharpie pens. They're all I use. They make my handwriting look so cool :)*

Despite all the planning, preparation, and hard work, I feel like I can never get it all done...as well I think it should be done, anyway. Typical firstborn? Probably. But I refuse to let that determine everything.

It's finals week at William and Mary. In addition to research papers, exams, and a gigantic portfolio (which was done a week early -- go team productivity!!), I am in my church's Christmas concerts this weekend. I don't need any more reasons to feel stressed or worried.

Last night was particularly rough, for reasons that I don't need to mention. As I sat at my desk trying to decide which assignment to work on next, I heard it. That gentle voice that causes me to let go of the tension that I'd been carrying around for days.

"My dear girl, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed."

Just call me Martha.

I've failed to heed that voice many times before, but last night I listened. Instead, I got on my knees and gave Him the honor He deserves (well, probably not even close but I gave Him all I have). And I confessed the worry and the stress. Chan writes, " Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance."

So what is His will for me? He makes it pretty clear.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

...and ransom captive Israel...

That song makes me cry. Every. Single. Time.

So if you are coming to the concerts this weekend, I apologize. I'll be the one tearing up in the second row.

But if you happen to look up at me during our rendition of "We Three Kings" a little later in the program, you will witness a full-out sobfest during the last verse. Seriously.

One of my goals for this blog was to record those moments of wonder. This song, the last verse in particular, with the orchestration of our arrangement, makes me want to bow on my knees and raise my hands to heaven. It overwhelms me every time.

Glorious now behold Him arise
King and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Earth to heaven replies
Star of Wonder, Star of light
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light.




[More from Crazy Love coming soon...]

Holy

Stop praying.

This is the title of Chan's first chapter. Shocking? Yes, but the discussion that follows is noteworthy.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon warns us, "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few."

How many times have I uttered careless words before the Creator of heaven and earth? How often do I sing in worship services without actually letting the words pass through my mind and heart before they leave my lips? When did I last have a time of "prayer" in which I rambled on about something similar to a Christmas wish list and failed to spend even a second thanking Him for who He is?

Only fools treat Him this way.

I am one.

And so, Chan says we must stop and gaze at God in reverent awe. In holy fear. In the words of R.C. Sproul, "Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God."

Let's think about His majesty for a minute. He is omniscient. Omnipotent. He is all-loving, and He is justice.

And He is holy.

There are moments when I glimpse His holiness and I am overwhelmed. Like Isaiah, I fall to the ground and proclaim my unworthiness. Who is He that He would be mindful of me?

Who am I that I am so rarely truly mindful of Him?

If you know me, you know that music speaks to me in ways that not much else can. Thus, it shouldn't surprise you that my response to this chapter was to break into song. Several anthems came to mind, but I will share just one. It is an old Point of Grace song called "God Forbid"

The more I know Your power, Lord
The more I'm mindful
How casually we speak and sing Your name
How often we have come to You with no fear or wonder
And called upon You only for what we stand to gain

God forbid that I find You so familiar
That I think of You as less than who You are
God forbid that I should think of You at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart
God forbid...

Lord, I often talk about Your love and mercy
How it seems to me Your goodness has no end
It frightens me to think that I could take You for granted
Though You're closer than a brother, You are more than just my friend

You are Father God Almighty
Lord of Lords, You're King of Kings
Beyond my understanding, no less than everything
God forbid that I find You so familiar
That I think of You as less than who You are
God forbid that I should speak of You at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart
God forbid, God forbid, God forbid.