The One Thing I Know

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.

And the clouds just parted on a corner of my life
And I can see for miles
And the things I was stuck on
Things I thought would never change
They just broke open wide

And the veil just lifted
I can finally understand
The way you work in me
But even if I didn't
You are still my sovereign God
Who has a plan for me

This is the one thing I know
You said You won't let me go
You said You won't let me go
You've done a good work in me
And You won't quit till I'm free
Oh, You won't let me go

It's good to know You work with hurt and broken souls
That You'll take a soul like mine
And in all the world nothing's taken hold of me like Christ

This is the one thing I know
You said You won't let me go
You said You won't let me go
You've done a good work in me
And now You're making me free...

It feels like chaos

But, Lord, I believe.

"While We Wait for a Rescue"

The older I become, the more I tend toward a more traditional view of the Christmas season. I used to count down the days to the day after Thanksgiving, because that meant I could get out all my Christmas CDs. Now, I am more selective when it comes to what I listen to in the four weeks before Christmas.

Advent: a period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of Christ's coming. We remember how he came to us in the form of an infant; we look forward to the day He returns upon the clouds, leading us into eternal victory. I'm starting to believe that instead of celebrating every day till Christmas, we should treat Advent the way my beloved Episcopals treat Lent.

I come by this view honestly. I blame my father entirely. I will never forget hearing him sing Steven Curtis Chapman's version of "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" several years ago. I cried. Cried for the desperation I heard in the lyrics, for His beloved Israel who somehow missed the gift when it was right there on the cross.

This year, I come before the throne desperate. I see the depths of my sin and I know that there is nothing good in me. I consider myself in an exile of my own. I need a Savior. I am waiting for a rescue.

Maybe it's because everything bad in my life always happens in December, and this December is no different. But once again I find myself looking to the skies asking the question, "How long?" Yet I need not wait long. Because Christmas is just around the corner, meaning Easter Sunday isn't far behind.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
O Come, Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And Death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice, rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

He will come to us, as well.

Look beyond the window there
To the sky above, to the open air
Look beyond what you can see
Close your eyes and just believe
The lion roars and the lamb lays down
They live together in a whole new town
They're calling me and they're calling you
From the cold hard fact that we're on our own
To the age old truth that we're not alone
So don't be afraid, little warrior bride
Your victory's on the other side
You're not alone, you're not alone

Validation

Today I gave a presentation on the needs of middle school students. The short version? Middle schoolers need...

(1) to be heard
(2) to have their feelings validated
(3) to feel accepted regardless of the circumstances

Apparently, I have those needs, too. Because the only reason I'm posting right now is to say that today a dear friend told me that she reads (and likes!!!) my blog.

I feel validated. And heard.

Oh happy day. :)


Back to work on my take-home final.

Sweet Jesus, my Savior
You are my faithful friend
You made me, You know me
And You see my every sin
And my soul is amazed
By this gift of Your grace
And these arms that take me in
Sweet Jesus, my Savior
You are my faithful friend

Sweet Jesus, my sheltor
You are my faithful friend
The refuge that I run to
When my world is closing in
Why should I be afraid
When I know I am saved
By the arms that take me in
Sweet Jesus, my shelter
You are my faithful friend

Sweet Jesus, my shepherd
You are my faithful friend
You hold me, You lead me
I'll follow to the end
And once more I will say
On that beautiful day
When Your arms take me in
Sweet Jesus, my Shepherd
You are my faithful friend
Sweet Jesus, my Savior,
You are my faithful friend.

The Difference

About a month ago, two visitors appeared at my door. You know the ones I'm talking about. Baby-faced, slightly post-adolescent men in suits and ties. Their name tags begin with the title "Elder", but they aren't fooling anybody.

I don't really know why I answered the door. I was in the middle of eating lunch and watching Fox News. In the past, whenever these missionaries came to our house, I would pretend I wasn't home. They weren't going to convert me, and I was afraid to try to talk with them. But this day was different, and the difference was that I listened to the Holy Spirit. I opened the door and engaged in a weighty dialogue for the next two hours.

I didn't convince my Mormon friends that Jesus is enough. In fact, I'm sure they left feeling sorry for me. I pray that maybe someday it will just click for them, but it might not.

I've thought a lot about theology and evangelism in the days since. I've read a lot of commentaries and listened to a lot of sermons. What is the difference between Christianity and Mormonism? I'm not really asking that question: I know the answers and I am confident that I know the Truth. But it's hard to explain that to someone who tells you that you're not allowed to use the Bible in defense of your argument (only the King James Version insofar as it is accurately translated – that's crap). Really, it makes for a rather unlevel playing field…

The reason I bring this up now is because today at church Bill gave a very simple but profound answer to the question. What makes our religion different from the rest, be it Mormonism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, or Catholicism (and before you get angry and stop reading, I am NOT saying that all Catholics are going to hell)? The aforementioned religions all have different definitions of "the good life", they have this in common: the good life is difficult, and not everyone will live it. We, however, do not think that the Christian life is difficult. Nope. Not difficult at all. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!! No matter what I do, I can never live a life that pleases God, that fully satisfies the standards He requires. I simply cannot.

I can't… "There is no one righteous, not even one."

…BUT HE CAN! Peter writes, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." Paul tells us that this power "is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms." And if those two men don't have enough credibility for you, hear the words of Christ himself. "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

This is the difference. I can't but He can, for I am in Him, and He is in me.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"

Amen and Amen.

I Knew a Hero

On this Veteran's Day, I am remembering this man: Houston B. Couch. Fought in World War II. Married his love after knowing her only 10 days and still looked at her with wonder and tenderness over fifty years later. Became the world expert on diseases of turfgrass. His lawn was impeccable. Pastored a church. Started a school. Played a huge role in making my father the man he is today.

And did I mention that he loved me?

Four years since he went to be with Jesus. I can't wait to see him again in the presence of the King he showed me how to love. I love you, Granddad.

To the President-Elect: Democracy is fragile. Please protect it. Especially our liberty. I realize that by voting for you the American people essentially declared that they'd rather the state take care of them. We voted against personal responsibility and therefore against personal freedom.

But for the sake of the 47% of us who kind of like rights such as keeping the money we earn, owning guns, and just overall being able to take care of ourselves, please don't take the majority seriously.

Happy Hour

I thought I'd start off November by sharing one of the things I am thankful for.

That would be happy hour at Sonic.

My current favorite is Diet Coke with Diet Cherry Syrup and Real Cherries.

44oz for less than $1.50 - that's better than a 20oz bottle in the grocery store. AND they now have "chewable ice", which is one of the greatest things God ever allowed man to create.

Insert Angry Faces Here

This quote is from a March interview, but I didn't here about it until today.

"I've got two daughters - nine years old and six years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." (Barack Obama)

I am hopping mad.

What a world we live in. Just the other day a friend told me about a conversation he had with a foreign national. "I think people just value life way too much over here."

I had a lot to say about this, but now, as I type, none of it matters.

This world is a dark place without the Light of the Truth. It grieves me.

The Lord Has Done This!

I was in a wedding this weekend. My former suitemate, Megan McFall, became Mrs. Joseph Riddell in the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended. That's saying a lot, considering I've been to more weddings than I can count.

It wasn't because of the dress, it wasn't because of the flowers. It wasn't even because it was the most perfect fall day ever to grace the "armpit of Ohio." It was because of the Lord and His abundant love. He brought Joe and Megan together - and Joe and Megan together is a beautiful thing. As the Psalmist said, "The Lord has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

There was so much rejoicing on Saturday, both with laughter and with tears (mostly my own). Watching Megan waiting patiently, peacefully, in the bridal suite for the time to finally arrive (she was so beautiful)! Watching Joe gaze at Megan as she walked down the aisle on her father's arm. Every minute of the day was blessed by the Lord and overflowing with His goodness, love, and beauty.

So much love. And so much joy. Joy for two people who are better together than they are apart (even though they are both amazing on their own). Joy because their relationship with each other has clearly deepened their relationships with the Father. Joy because as they learned to love each other more they began to love everyone else around them even more richly. Mr. and Mrs. Riddell are one of those rare treasures - a couple that you (that's a single you, not a couple you) are practically begging to be around (a rarity when talking about Grover relationships). I don't have to look any farther than these two to show you what I hope for in a relationship.

This was quite possibly one of the best weekends of my whole life.

"When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

JOY!

Hail to Thee, Our Alma Mater

I am going to see these wonderful people on THURSDAY!

The Constitution

Apparently "freedom of speech" does not apply to students in public schools.

While I think maybe this kid should have thought a little more before wearing this on a day meant to show patriotism, and also wonder how much he was encouraged by his parents, he definitely should not have gotten suspended. As a future school counselor, I would have LOVED to have a "how do you feel about this"/"tell me more" conversation with this boy.

I just had another thought though. Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised that free speech has its limits. Freedom of religion, freedom of the press, and freedom of assemnly have also been redefined when in a government funded public school setting.

Current Conclusion (subject to change upon further introspective reflection and collaboration - that's all I hear about these days): A person is not protected under the First Amendment at least until they finish high school. After that, well, it's a case by case thing.

Embracing Accusation

Great song from Shane and Shane.

The father of lies
Coming to steal, kill, and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying, "cursed are the ones who can't abide"
He's right
Hallelujah, he's right

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying, "cursed are the ones who can't abide"
He's right
Hallelujah, he's right

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Oh, the devil's singing over me
An age-old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently over me
He's forgotten the refrain - Jesus Saves!

When Did They Ever Ask a Man...?

This is going to be another long-winded one. I apologize. The problem is that I sat in my office at work for 7 hours today and only had 15 minutes of work to do. After writing the two papers I had to do for my classes on Monday, I had a lot of time to think and this is what I thought about (part of the time, anyway). Hopefully this will be my last "political" blog, because I would like to prove that I am more interested in other things.

I am annoyed by the way many have reacted to Sarah Palin's VP nomination. And I am especially frustrated that so many of these objections have come from the those who pride themselvess on being pro-woman.

I thought women's rights meant that a woman can do whatever she wants. If she wants a career, she has every right to pursue any career she desires. This does not guarantee that she will achieve every goal she sets for herself, but men don't have that promise either. But, like men, women are allowed to become whatever they want to be.

Therefore, it should follow that if a woman chooses to devote her life to raising a family instaed of entering the workforce, her choice is also valid. This is the choice I hope I am able to make one day. While I enjoy my grad program, I sincerely hope that I do not have to work as a school counselor for the next 45 or 50 years. I'm hoping for no more than five. Unfortunately this choice is often seen as a lesser one. The message I think I hear is, "You've been given a choice but you'll only be respected if you choose the option we think is acceptable."

However, it seems to me that proponents of women's rights (NOW, et. al.) should at least acknowledge Gov. Palin's achievements as something to be admired. I don't expect them to endorse the Republican ticket - Palin has a far more conservative view on virtually every social issue - but they shouldn't attack her as they have. Instead of choosing career over family or family over career, Sarah Palin chose to have both a family and a career. I believe this option is more or less the norm. More than 75% of the employees at the school board office are female, and the vast majority of them have children at home.

So what is all the fuss about? The way I see it, Sarah is a great example of the typical American woman. I believe American women find it much easier to identify with her than with Hillary Clinton. Yes, Senator Clinton has a daught, but raising one is quite a bit different from raising five, and, by the time she entered political sphere as an elected official, Chelsea was an adult. And, frankly, Sarah comes across as a person whereas Hillary seems more like a machine. She would never be mistaken for a hockey mom...

I think another reason for my frustration relates to what Rudy Guiliani said in his speech at the Convention: "How dare they question whether Sarah Palin has enough time to spend with her children and be vice president. How dare they do that. When do they ever ask a man that question?"

When DID they ever ask a man is juggling the pressure of a career in Washington and the responsbility of caring for children? I'll tell you when they didn't. When a young man in Delaware was elected as US Senator in 1972. When his wife and daughter were killed in a car accident a few weeks after the election, he found himself raising two boys (ages 2 and 3) on his own. He seriously considered resigning before ever beginning the job. If there were ever a time to ask a man that question, this was it. He apparently had doubts in his own ability to do it. But his colleagues in the Senate had no reservations. They convinced him he could do both, and do both well, and so Senator Joe Biden was sworn in at his son's bedside.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for what Joe Biden did during what I am sure was a difficult time. (Side Note: my mom met him as a kid and she said he's a very nice man.) Biden took the train from Wilmington to Washington every morning and returned in time to put his boys to bed every night. Nobody ever suggested that he was failing as a father and should resign to properly care for his boys.

As a sociology major I learned a lot about the impact of family life on the development of the individual. I can't recall specific statistics anymore but I do remember this: children with an absent father are a lot worse off than those whose mother isn't around. It can be argued that the father's role in his children's lives is a more powerful indicator of their future success than the mother's. So maybe...just maybe...it would be a fair question to ask.

And on September 11, I just want to say that I am thankful to live in a country where we are even able to have this discussion. As a woman, I am thrilled that what I do with my life is up to me, and if that means, being the vice president of the United States, I might not even be the first one.

God Bless America.

November 4, 2008

On Friday, August 29, I attended an orientation session for my counseling program. As I was walking through Colonial Williamsburg on my way back to my car, I passed an African-American gentleman, well-advanced in years. I smiled and said hello. He responded, "Hi Missy. Come over here a minute."

I moved closer. "Did you watch the convention last night?" he asked me.

Did I watch the convention last night? Are you kidding me? I watched about 5 minutes of Obama's rhetoric and couldn't stand it and turned the TV off. But, realizing who I was talking to, I kept those thoughts to myself.

"Actually, I had to miss it."

"Oh, well, it was a very nice message."

"Yes, Sir. I'm sure it was."

Awkward silence for a few seconds. I wonder if I should say I'm voting for Obama just to make his day, but I can't make myself do it.

"Well, then I guess you don't know what Johnny McCain did this morning then, do you?"

Now I've decided this is the cutest old man ever. Johnny McCain? Really?

“No. What did he do?”

“He picked that governor from…what is that place? Alaska. Yeah, the governor of Alaska.”

Now I’m racking my brain. Who is the governor of Alaska? Surely I would have at least heard of the governor of Alaska…What in the world is he thinking?

“That’s very interesting,” I heard myself say.

“Yes. It sure is.” He paused. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

This is supposed to mean something? Oh, why did I choose to ignore politics the past several months? “No, what does it mean?”

The man leaned in as if he were sharing a secret that could ruin everything if the world were to know. ‘It means that come November, one of us will finally move up in this world.” He then started laughing. “So, good luck.”

I smiled and walked away, moving much more quickly now because I wanted to get home and turn on FoxNews and find out what this was all about.

Sarah Palin. That’s what it was about.

I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t all that thrilled the moment it became clear that John McCain (or “Johnny” according to my new friend or “J-Mac” according to Whoopi Goldberg – that one is my favorite) was going to be the Republican nominee. Who I preferred doesn’t really matter anymore. It’s not that I don’t respect and admire what this man has done for this country – he is a national hero. I just wish he had a different position on some “moral” issues that I consider extremely important….

Recap: was not in love with John McCain. Wished there was a better candidate. Wondered if any Republican even had a remote chance of being successful against Barack Obama (for an interesting read, click here). Side Note: I’m typing this in Word and I think we should elect the man whose name does not get underlined in red, indicating a spelling error. I’ll leave you to decide which one that is.

Enter Sarah Palin. I didn’t know anything about her until a week and a half ago, and, after reading a lot and watching WAY too much news coverage of the convention, all I have to say is wow. I don’t want to get into too many details, but I loved what Albert Mohler had to say about the Palin family a few months ago.

You know what’s strange? I’m starting to realize that I actually like John McCain, too. He is the epitome of what a “public servant” should be. He’s spent his life looking after what he believes are our nation’s best interests, and this has often come at a cost. The honor of being President of the United States should never be handed out as a Lifetime Achievement Award, but if one were ever deserving of such, it’s J-Mac (sorry, I couldn’t resist). When he gives a speech, the message I hear is, “I want to do whatever it takes to make this country better, even if I don’t win.” It’s a beautiful sound, compared to the more popular, “Vote for me because I want to be President because I am awesome and a lot of my friends agree. And if you don’t think I’m awesome, I have two things to say: (1) you’re wrong, and (2) you should still vote for me because if I lose I might pitch a fit.”

I find myself excited about politics again. Well, maybe not politics. I’m still pretty jaded. But I’m excited about this election, and about America. I can now proudly and enthusiastically say that I am voting for McCain-Palin on November 4.

Trying Again

After deleting several posts because I regretted writing them, I'm renewing my efforts to actually maintain a blog worth reading.

For today, I just want to share the passage I've been meditating on the past couple weeks.

2 Peter 1:3-8

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ni Hao

Greetings from Taiwan. We got around 6pm last night (Friday night).

It's a 12 hour time difference, so that would have been 6am Friday morning for you people.

I'll update again once we've done something

I ate bing last night. it was fabulous.

God is Good

So I got that assistantship. Two days after the interview, even though on the phone they'd told me that I wouldn't hear until at least mid-July.

And I was reminded again that my Father provides. Never exactly the way I plan it, but He still provides...abundantly, immeasurably more. :)

I was bored this afternoon and found myself reading some blogs. One of them blew me away. Check it out --> audreycaroline.blogspot.com. If I could summarize Angie's posts in one paragraph, it would be this: in the kingdom of God, there is no such thing as a Plan B. Sure, I find myself coming up with a Plan B nearly every day, from those little daily occurrences to big life dreams. But I am a child of the Sovereign and Almighty God who numbered my days from before I was born and knows the number of hairs on my head. If my Plan A falls apart, it doesn't mean that God is up there wringing His hands and saying, "Oh no! How did this happen? What are we going to do now?" Instead, it means that my plan was never part of God's plan. He doesn't have a Plan B because He doesn't need it. The Lord's purpose prevails. Whatever He decrees will come about.

When you think about it that way, I guess God doesn't have a Plan A either. To call it "Plan A" implies some degree of uncertainty, since one should only use "A" if subsequent amendments known as "B", "C", etc, are bound to follow. Even the word plan is no good - the word itself suggests that no one's really sure what's happening, what will happen, or what should be done about it.

And so I choose to rest in knowing that what my God has ordained will come to pass. He shall perfect that which concerns me.

I NEED MONEY

Dramatic? Perhaps.

But really.

I do.

I had an interview for an assistantship today, but won't know if I get it until mid-July. Even then, that's only $450 a month, which is not enough to live on. I will definitely be looking for a job in Williamsburg. It would be nice to find one at a restaurant where they serve alcohol or some night job where I can sit there and do my homework.

In other news: Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Chad Ashby on their marriage. It was a beautiful wedding this weekend.

A Time for Everything....

"a time to embrace and a time to refrain...
...a time to be silent and a time to speak..."

The Lord has kept me in a bit of a holding pattern this past year. There is so much I could say to describe my situation, but He's made it abundantly clear that for me, this is a time to refrain and be silent. Though this reserve regards a particular relationship, I hesitate to declare to the blogging sphere anything I have not been released to say to the one of which I speak.

It's been difficult these past two weeks for two reasons. The first is that this friend and I are finally in the same place for more than a week for the first time in about nine months. The second is that in a few weeks' time we will say goodbye again - this time for an indefinite, but lengthy, duration. I want a chance to finally speak. To freely share from my heart, even embrace, before I run out of opportunities.

Lately I've begun to wonder if Father will ever tell me, "Now's the time." I wrote about a month ago about my friend who has entered his own season of speaking freely, no matter the consequences. I both admire and envy his efforts. A large part of me wants to follow his example and just say what I've wanted to say since last summer.

Yet I simply cannot do that. Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity weighs heavily on my mind. A woman of God isn't supposed to act that way. She is to wait silently and patiently for a man to say those things first. Even if she's certain the young man wants the same things, she must wait for him to speak.

I'm not happy about this. I wish I could just speak my mind, say my piece, hold nothing back....

I have no idea what the outcome would be, but my guess is that I wouldn't like it. In conclusion, I'm going to keep my mouth shut these next seven weeks, even if it kills me.

But if I didn't, maybe then I would know with absolute certainty whether this season is "a time to keep" or a "time to throw away."

You'd Think it was Morgantown

Some high school kids I know had a bonfire Monday night. They burned nine couches, stacked on top of each other. Each couch was stuffed with firecrackers. The fire was lit with a flaming arrow.

This may make me a redneck, but I think it's awesome.

Alumni

I graduated from Grove City last weekend. Woohoo!

Second Place, Should Have Been First

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grlylEdbz8Y

I Love ABT.

Becoming Men

I learned something this week: there’s a fine line between being a sociologist and being a stalker.

Before I explain, I must make a few clarifications:

1. I believe I was being a sociologist

2. I don’t believe it counts as stalking if the one being observed is a friend

3. I wasn’t really a true sociologist because I was not an entirely objective observer

4. #3 makes #1 false, but I’m not taking it off. Maybe instead it should say, I definitely wasn’t being a stalker.

So here’s the situation. I have recently become friends with a young man here at Grove City. I’ll call him Jeff. Earlier this week, I overheard him talking with a friend about something called Operation Phi Beta Gamma. The mission included such phrases as “target engaged,” “we be bringin’ da house,” “WHO DEY! WHO DEY!” and “can a brother can an amen?” And I accurately determined they were talking about a girl.

On Monday and Tuesday, I watched as Jeff patrolled the lobby of HAL looking for this mystery target. He looked absolutely ridiculous…and even more so once I found out that he didn’t even know this girl…he just thinks she’s pretty. As you can imagine, I was very confused at this point. Several of my girlfriends were offended, saying that he was just being a typical shallow guy.

I was inclined to agree, until talking with Jeff later this week. He’s planning to ask this girl out on a date. Yes, he picked her because she’s pretty and hopes to find that there is more to her than that. “You know, it would definitely be annoying if I went through all this and found out she’s not that into Jesus.”

Then, slowly, the rationale for this absurdity became clear. Jeff’s going to ask this girl out in an effort to get to know her. He’s not particularly attached to her, making the threat of rejection less powerful. He chose a ridiculously pretty one for (in my opinion) two reasons: (1) he (like all guys) is visually stimulated and wouldn’t pick a girl he didn’t find attractive, and (2) he’s testing the waters to see just what he can get.

Ultimately, Jeff wants to be a man. He’s tired of living in fear, not taking risks, and always wondering what might have been. He doesn’t want to regret not taking every opportunity. By asking out “pretty random girl,” he’s proving to himself that he can put himself out there and be the assertive man of God that he is called to be. He said, “We’re not supposed to play it safe. We’re supposed to take risks and learn what it means to depend on God alone. It’s what we were made for. I don’t want a safe, easy life.”

So, in conclusion, I think there are other ways for Jeff to practice being a man. This whole “test” seems pretty stupid to me. I’m not sure he even knows this girl, and from what I know of her, I don’t think she’s the kind of wife that he’s trying to get. Yet I also don’t see much harm in it, as one of two things will happen. First, he may learn that she does have a steadfast faith and similar calling and they spend the rest of their lives together. Or, he spends time with her, realizes she’s none of the things he’s looking for, and that’s the end of it. He’s not emotionally invested in this – which, as an aside, is an incredibly refreshing state of mind because it’s so different from the typical GCC first date in which the whole relationship has already been decided by the time the date actually happens…but I digress.

In short, as silly as the whole thing sounds, the fact that Jeff is “practicing” being a man really impressed me. I don’t know how it turned out, or if he’s even asked her yet, and I probably won’t report it on this blog either way. The point it not to gossip about his personal life. However, I do want to say that I hope she at least agrees to go out on the date. Do I think this is the start of a great relationship? Probably not. Still, I hope she says yes when he takes this risk, so that he’s willing to do it again in the future. Maybe it will even encourage his friends to try it, too.

So, to all the “random pretty girls” out there, please say yes if a Jeff asks you out. It’s just one date, not a life-long commitment.

The Family of God

This morning, while walking back from the gym, Lacey and I heard the church bells downtown playing this hymn. As I reflected on events from yesterday, I couldn't help but rejoice in God's love and goodness.


From the door of an orphanage to the house of a king,
No longer an outcast, a new song I sing;
From rags unto riches, from the weak to the strong,
I'm not worthy to be here, but Praise God! I belong!

I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God
I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood!
Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,
For I'm part of the family, the family of God.

I think the greatest thing about this family is the common bond that we have. The love of Christ joins us in a way that nothing else can. Let's compare it to the bond that we have with our fellow Americans. When travelling overseas, I often chat briefly with other Americans abroad. But the conversation is often stilted and awkward and ends when we realize we have very little to talk about.

Not so with my Christian brothers and sisters. The bond we have comes from the fact that the Spirit of the Living God is in each of us. Our sins have been nailed to the cross - together - and we have been called children of the Most High and coheirs with Christ. We are bound to each other not just in this life, but for all eternity.

That is why two strangers can meet at a professional baseball game and end up walking the streets of an unfamiliar city, enjoying meaningful conversation about the passions of their hearts. About salvation, about Africa, about bringing hope to the world, about calling, about living a life that really matters. No moments of uncomfortable silence. Just two hearts in complete accord about what is important. A beautiful thing.

And I remembered why someday I simply must return to Africa: because that's where I left my heart.

Some Thoughts on Weddings

They're expensive and highly emotionally charged. Lately, they are all I kind think about.

It seems that everybody is getting married this summer. I graduate May 17, head to Taiwan from June 26 to July 22, and then move to Williamsburg sometime after August 9. Why after August 9? Because that's the date of the final wedding of the summer.

I looked at the calendar today and found that of the weekends this summer that I will be in the country, I will attend a wedding on every one except May 23. On two of those weekends I was forced to decide between two different friends. That made for some awkward moments. Four days after I get back from Taiwan I'm a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding (which makes me pray every night that I don't get another nasty spider bite this year).

Despite how this post might sound, I am excited about it. I have known these couples for years and love them all and I'm so happy for them. But, at the same time, I've had it with hearing about dresses and cake and photography packages.

It makes me wonder. We spend months preparing for a wedding, but how much time do we devote to preparing for a marriage?

From what I've seen lately, not much at all.

Here Goes Nothing

I had a blog once before about three years ago. I can't believe it was really three years ago, but that's what the calendar's telling me. I'd like to think I'm a lot wiser now than I was then and that this blog will be actually worth your time and mine, but I make no guarantees. The reality is something pretty close to the words of the Jars of Clay song that I borrowed for my blog's title:

Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
And see enough to know I'm blind
And see enough to know I'm blind.

So check back every once in a while. I'll let you know what I'm learning, and maybe you can teach me something too.